you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
