This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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