I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
