Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
