Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
