Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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