The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
