either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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