I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
