this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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