Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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