why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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