Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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