so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
