I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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