she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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