he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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