i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
