i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
