All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
