she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
