Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
