I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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