JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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