And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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