fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
