so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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