Need sex. Gaining weight.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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