I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
