Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
