i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if i died would you start the facebook group?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He better not be in your backpack
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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