you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
