Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
