If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
