she's into porn, im staying here tonight
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
