yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it was like eating out sand paper
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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