she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
