Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
