im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize