im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize