Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
