Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
