How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize