you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
