I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
