i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
