Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
