Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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