question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
