It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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