I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
