I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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