i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize