Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
