pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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