I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
