you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize