He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
