remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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