Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
