Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
