Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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