he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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