Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His nipple licking is glorious
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