I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
