So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
