if you like me you must not know who I am
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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